Posted in Blog posts, Fibromyalgia, Guest Speaker


Dr. Rhonda Gilby is a blogger, member of Fibromyalgia London Group and the mother of two daughters with Fibromyalgia. Dr. Gilby has been a clinical psychologist for over 30 years, helping people cope with the various problems that they are experiencing. She has taught psychology courses at Western University and its affiliates, worked with troubled children, and provided psychological counselling to University students. Dr. Gilby recognizes that “it’s not always easy” and writes about how findings and ideas from the field of psychology can be applied to help everyone to cope better in their day-to-day lives.

Savouring the positive – where are you shining your flashlight?

Our lives are filled with many, many different experiences. At any given time, there can be many wonderful things going on in your life, at the same time as you are dealing with some “not-so-wonderful” things.  What do you focus on?

Imagine that you live in darkness, always holding a flashlight in your hand. Where do you shine that flashlight? How much of your time do you spend focusing on the negative, shining your flashlight into a dark corner where some unpleasant experiences or painful feelings reside, and how much of your time are you using your flashlight to search for and focus on the happier, more pleasurable things that are also happening for you right now.

Life can (and will) hit you with all kinds of challenges and disappointments. Nobody gets a perfectly smooth ride on their journey through life. But you do have some choice in how those setbacks will affect you. You can take control of your flashlight, and redirect its beam to the delightful things that are also around you, despite those challenges, and focus on the richness that your life also offers.


Choose to savour the small pleasures that life offers – making a deliberate effort to notice and appreciate the positive aspects of life. Psychologists Fred Bryant and Joseph Veroff have explored the concept of savouring, noting that we sometimes we can experience positive feelings or experiences in our lives, and be too busy or too wrapped up in our negative emotions to pay much attention to them.

Happiness isn’t just about having the positive experiences, it’s also about noticing them, enjoying them, trying to prolong them, shining your flashlight on them. For example, rather than eating your morning muffin mindlessly, linger over it, appreciate the aroma, the sweetness or crunch, the blueberries as they burst in your mouth. 

blueberry muffin

Rather than just walking to get from A to B, notice the warmth of the sunshine on your face, feel the crispness of the air, or observe the beauty of the clean, white snow on a winter’s day.

Riverside walk on a snowy winter's day Stock Photo - 4218141

Instead of feeling like you really didn’t do anything tonight, even a quiet evening with family or friends can be savoured, for the comfort, calm, and feeling of care that it provides. If you make the effort, there is lots of positive in every life to focus on. You can savour a memory of a past experience, savour an experience as it is happening  or look forward to an anticipated enjoyable future experience.

Remember that good moments pass quickly, so make an effort to consciously appreciate them, and be careful about where you shine your flashlight.

Take care and be good to yourselves.

Dr. Rhonda Gilby, guest blogger, member of Fibromyalgia London Group. teacher, clinical psychologist for over 30 years, and the mother of two daughters with Fibromyalgia.

Posted in Blog posts, Educational, Fibromyalgia, Getting social, Guest Speaker, Sharing Circle, Social events

Happy New Year 2020! What’s Next?

Happy New Year! Hard to believe it’s already 2020 (no vision jokes). A new year (and a leap year at that), a new decade, but what’s next? Sometimes when we’re in a Fibro flare, stressed out, and/or having a rough time, it’s hard to think, what’s next? So make plans anyway, make choices, don’t let the world make them for you.

Here at Fibromyalgia London Group we understand, the holidays can add extra stress ( and post-holiday exhaustion is real…and don’t even get me started on what winter does to Fibro.

So come out to some (or all – with a $20 membership per year every single event, program, sharing circle, everything is no extra charge to you and a registered caregiver/supporter/loved one) of our programs, events, sharing circles, etc. – relax, de-stress, learn about resources and ways to cope with pain, exhaustion, anxiety. Also, you’ll meet folks who know what you’re going through. We don’t just say we get it. We get it.

Please note: Fibromyalgia London Group (FM/CFS/chronic pain) Saturday Sharing Circle sessions in the North end, North London Optimist Centre will now be bi-monthly (every second month, 6 times per year). As well, the FM/CFS Caregivers’ Support Group, led and facilitated by Rick Avdovich. Caregivers, supporters, and loved ones of persons living with FM or CFS have their own support circle, held Bi-monthly (every 2nd month/ 6x/year) at the same time our FM/CFS/CRPS/ME Sharing Circle meets.

Thursday Sharing Circle sessions will continue MONTHLY. So just as a reminder, there’s NO Sharing Circle January 4th, but join us at the North London Optimist Centre January 11th, 2020 for an educational opportunity…

LIVE BLOOD MICROSCOPY Saturday, January 11, 2020; 1-3pm North London Optimist Community Centre.

And Thursday January 16th for a Support/Sharing Circle. Free parking and on several London Transit routes, ie. #10 – check out for more details. Also, the City of London has an income-related bus pass Whichever way you arrive, we want you to thrive!

Thursday support sessions are still monthly, in January 2020 it’s Thursday January 16th, 2020 11am-12:30pm (doors open at 10:30am and Peer Leaders will be there to answer questions, sign up members, share resources or just to listen) – Earl Nichols Recreation Centre 799 Homeview Rd. 11am-12:30pm. Free parking and on several London Transit routes, ie. #10 – check out for more details. Also, the City of London has an income-related bus pass Whichever way you arrive, we want you to thrive!

Knit Happens: Therapeutic Knitting for all! Bi-weekly knitting program, 3rd Floor Board room London Public Library Central Branch (accessible to all). Please remember all FLG events are scent-free please. Instructor Janice Sumpton shows how knitting can help with chronic pain, or everyday stress, because Knit Happens! All are welcome! Open not only to Fibromyalgia London Group members but to the general public. New to knitting or an expert, come to learn or just for the company! Free 2hr parking (validate at front desk of LPL with library card) and on several London Transit routes, ie. #4, 6, 13, 90, and more – check out for more details. Also, the City of London has an income-related bus pass Whichever way you arrive, we want you to thrive! January 9th 1pm-2:30pm – bring your needles and yarn – we’re going to have a ball!

Cards and Company Monday Afternoons! January 13th & 27th, 2020, 1pm-3pm!!! Free for Fibromyalgia London Group members and a supporter/caregiver but snacks are always welcome!!! Free parking and on several London Transit routes, ie. #4, 6, 90, 13, 15 and more – check out for more details. Also, the City of London has an income-related bus pass Whichever was you arrive, we want you to thrive! We’re playing with a full deck (honest)!

Please read and keep checking back, to the homepage, changes all the time with upcoming events. To the right of that page, under “What We’ve Been Up To” are blog posts about events, Fibromyalgia and other stuff. Also, and very important, please share this homepage for the London Fibromyalgia Group (FLG) with family, friends, colleagues, medical professionals, clubs, groups and on especially social media – you never know when you’re going to help someone. Then please, submit…

ORIGINAL content (written by you) blog posts, memes, quotes, ideas, recipes, lyrics, personal experiences, etc. to: (you can use your first name, full name, pseudonym, whatever you feel comfortable with, in the blogging world, anything goes…). Here are a few examples of ORIGINAL blog posts, but the whole point of original is you do you!!!

“Chronic Suckage”, “Is #Fibromyalgia Still a Four Letter Word?” and “12 Unusual Ways To Relieve HolidayStress” by Guest Blogger, D. Parker also a member of Fibromyalgia London Group and a Peer Leader.

Keep checking for more and more details. Even if no one else understands, we do. New Year, new you or are you enough already and just need some help to live your best life? Don’t wait for help to come to you, come to us for help. Fibromyalgia London Group
Tel: 519-453-3198 ~


~ Website:

Happy New Year and hope to see you soon!